Hi, my name is Darius Davies – I have been in numerous and quite prestigious New Act Comedy Competition finals, although I have never won.
I put this down to conspiracy theories. The same ones that fix the league for Man Utd.
I’ve listed these below in a feeble attempt to try and impress you, when in reality they mostly mean nothing.
I have also put down some nice quotes people have said about me. I have omitted abusive quotes, as is my prerogative.

Laughing Horse New Act of the Year finalist 2012
3rd Placed Hackney Empire New Act of the Year 2011
2nd Placed Reading Comedy Festival New Act of the Year 2011
Leicester Square New Comedian of the Year finalist 2011
Newbury Comedy Festival New Act of the Year finalist 2011
London New Comedy Awards finals 2010

King Gong Comedy Store winner June 2011
Comedy Cafe New Act night winner 4 times